Long Time No Blog

I need people to love me. No seriously, I have some sort of abnormal psychology (don't worry you have some sort of abnormal psychology of your own, so don't feel sorry for me, it's part of the human condition) that makes me want people to genuinely like me for who I am. I don't want them to like me because I do great things, I want them to admire the things I do for their intrinsic awesomeness. I guess what I am saying is: love me, but I won't change a thing for you.

Let me give you an example so as to clear this all up (or muddy the waters even further, who knows where this will take us-that's the fun of it). Today I went to the dentist. Well, lets back up a little and give you some background.

Last Thursday, after a long morning of being cooped up in the house trying to do chores and driving my kids insane, and vice versa, I threw the kids' shoes on, got their scooters and went for a walk. They wanted to scoot to the "big park" a mile and a half away, but cooler heads (mine) prevailed and we went to the "little park" about half a mile away. The trip to the park is mostly uphill, and both my 2 year old and 4 year old are out of practice and were complaining more than a little. Needless to say, I was frustrated. Hellooooo! I am taking this walk for YOU! Eventually, after several stops, we got to the park. They played for about 45 minutes (and lets face it, it was lucky they played that long, because the little park SUCKS) and then decided they needed water-which I, being the genius that I am, had forgotten.

So my little ducklings and I began our downhill march home. We had not even gotten 100 yards when my 2 year old slipped off his scooter and bit, literally bit, his handlebars. It didn't look like much, so I was getting ready to march right on. Then I saw the blood coming from his mouth and thought I'd better have a closer look. His right front tooth looked to be bent back at the gum line. "Phew, NOT broken, good." I thought. You should know before we go any further that I did not have my three week old in his sling, as I usually do when we go out...instead I was holding him in my arms. My 2 year old could not continue riding his scooter. I picked him up in my right arm and held the baby in my left. Then I picked up the scooter with my "free" right hand. If you can imagine the scene, please do. A crying two year old, a BIG crying two year old, boogers streaming from his nose, tears pouring from his eyes and all meeting and mixing with the blood coming from his mouth and then falling to the ground, leaving a Hansel and Gretl-esque trail in case anyone needed to find us. My 4 year old leading the way, checking back on us and urging us to "c'mon, guys." And me. Holding bleeding crying baby, holding littler, thankfully not crying, baby and holding the scooter. It was a sight to see. Halfway home I decided to check his mouth and ditch the scooter. To my surprise, there was no longer a tooth there. Because of all the blood, I couldn't tell if it had fallen out, or if it had broken off neer the gumline. Either way, it was not lookin' good for Ollie.

Fast-forward to this morning. I went to the pediatric dentist with my toothless wonder. He is the most cooperative child ever. He sat perfectly still in the chair as the dentist took several x-rays, poked and prodded his teeth and gums and discussed the whole mess withe me. His teeth were already losing enamel, due to (according to the oral surgeon we saw on Thursday) high fever during infancy or in me during pregnancy. "Nothing you could have done about it, sometimes these things just happen." Oral Surgeon's words, not mine. The pediatric dentist was not about to cut me such slack. FIrst he asked me if we were giving him a bottle, currently, to put him to sleep. I told him, no, nor had he EVER had a bottle. Next he wanted to know how long I breastfed, and instead of thinking that I was a champ for nursing as a long as I did, he started in on his diatribe about how the breast milk pools around the top teeth and rots them out and we KNOW you aren't brushing in the middle of the night, so that's how the decay starts...blablabla. He informed me that I had BETTER START brushing the poor kid's teeth twice a day, after breakfast and before bed (thanks for being so specific) and that I NEED to start flossing his teeth. The way I heard it, the implication was that I don't already brush and floss his teeth. I wanted to inform him, so that he would love me and think I was a great dental hygienist/ mother, that I have, since his first tooth appeared at the tender age of three months, been brushing his teeth twice a day-religiously. Not only that but since his canines came in closing some of the gaps that had been in his infant mouth, I have been flossing between those. I didn't say anything, mostly because when I thought about saying it in my head it sounded like a little kid giving an excuse that no one wants to hear. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have changed his mind about me anyway.

I left the dental office with a treatment plan that will set me back about 5 G's and my tail between my legs. I sat in my car and cried. Every time, I have a few bucks in the bank something comes up that demands not only those few bucks but several more! AND WHAT IS WRONG with that dentist, he didn't even ASK me if I brush his teeth and floss, he just ASSUMED that if there is decay, I must be doing a bad job. UGH! This is why I don't go to the dentist as often as I should. I would rather avoid you than hear how much I suck, Oh yeah and pay OUT OF MY YOU KNOW WHERE to hear it!

It has ruined my whole day. I have been fighting with this dentist in my mind ever since I left his office at 9:30 this morning. Listen, dude, I don't know where you got your medical degree, OH WAIT, you didn't-you're just a dentist...well that explains it. Are you really suggesting that I nurse my children less because of your enamel wear hypothesis? Do you mean to tell me you think that EVERY other parent is brushing their kids teeth more often, more thoroughly, more effectively than I am? YOu really want to tell me that the kids in your "no cavities" pictures on your SUPER * wall are better than mine. Because they aren't. And I am way better than those moms, and you are STOOOOOPID if you don't recognize it. Oh and by the way, I SEE your teeth. I see your little skinny, but long, occupying the space of one front tooth weasel teeth. I see them crowding each other out...oh wait maybe that's just your poop tooth. NOW I know why you got into dentistry, your parents neglected some obviously needed orthodontics and you are getting back at them by punishing all other parents you deem to be similarly neglectful. Well that ain't me, bro, I'm a very attentive mom, not smothering, just perfectly attentive to my the needs of my children. and on. and on. It is mentally exhausting to keep up both ends of an argument, so I am spent. Being tired leads to being cranky and then eventually to poor parenting.

PS the anesthesiologist just called and I most likely will not have to pay for their services, as they are covered by my medical insurance...so, amidst my pity-party I have that to be thankful for!