Yes, Santa Clarita, that's me. I am the one pushing that red double-decker stroller straight up that hill on Valencia Blvd loaded up with two kids surrounded by two other scootering dervishes. That's me you see. Those are my legs striding along, seeming strong. Those are my arms powering two, sometimes three if Jake gets his way, passengers up the street. It might look pretty heroic on the outside and you may ascribe to me some sort of super-woman status. But perhaps I should draw you in closer, to see what you are missing.
Those are my lips you may or preferably may not notice moving, forming shamefully nasty threats meant for whichever child of mine happens to be whining about how hot it is (and it is after all 110'F) or how tired their legs are, etc...There is so much more that you don't know because you can't see. You can't see the bitter disdain in my heart against all parties who have conspired to deprive me of a vehicle lo these many...weeks? Months? Years, has it been? I have actually lost track. You don't see the secret shame I bear in the midst of one of the most affluent neighborhoods in California, because despite my protestations to the contrary and my sincere desire to march to the beat of my own drum, in some dark recess of my heart I, too, desire to keep up with the Joneses.
Nonetheless, I soldier on. I smile and laugh, sing and play with my children and you see what you see and it is as real as it appears to be. But here's the secret:
I would have broken long ago if it weren't for my Creator, Sustainer, Master, Savior...A God who is mystical, even magical, spiritual and practical...Whose ways are unfathomable, unspeakable and unwaiveringly perfect. SO you may see me, and think that I am strong. But it is not my strength, you see. I am not being humble when I say it. The strength you see belongs to the One who is all around us, flowing through me, who gave me breath and provides me with daily bread. And while He is almost always invisible, and sometimes even amidst His great work we do not feel or even notice Him - as Antoine de Saint-Exupery so eloquently put it, "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
