All of the sun, moon, and stars came together and I was able to take this journey despite the several times it seemed it would most probably become impossible to do so along the way. It was the first hour of the 24 in which the moon appears full and I stood on a rooftop in Marrakech with gorgeous women who possessed intense talent and the magic of the world sang to me of a rebirth I have been experiencing for an entire physical renaissance period, or seven years. I haven’t just been remade by my own cells’ doing. But I have also realized a different point of view spiritually than anything else I have ever believed or thought. Head heart. Yin Yang. Black white. He she. The unrelenting desire to describe and define. All of the classification and boxes that we are told we must neatly categorize things within for the comfort and perceived safety of those around us have at long last fallen away.
As I touched the symbols of my own hard earned iconography, honoring the things that I’ve discovered over 45 years to be truly my own in these present moments, I have a clear moment to reconnaître who I have always been. And while she may change her layers adding and subtracting as she finds new things that are profitable to her and old things that no longer suffice to carry, a core always remains true. In those moments in the spiraling inward Medina, reflecting the infinite creative process inward, even on a subatomic level, a desire washed over me to wrest the power that the violent powerful of the present have used cunning lies and a guise of physical prowess to take from the masses and to restitute it back through any animal , mineral, physical, spiritual, magical methods that I may have at my disposal to the rest of us.
Many of you who have read and perhaps some of you even enjoyed my blog in the past will likely not have the same interest or appreciation for this next chapter in my life. And that is ok. Scroll on. I don’t think blogs are really a thing anymore anyway. But part of the promise I made to myself in that moment and to the women who encouraged me to do so in that riad was to begin again with the art form that comes most naturally to me me-writing. I return. But in a spiraling outward fashion, recreation of the self in an outward manner, growing ever larger willing to touch others and encourage them with Magical words to be their best selves.
I see myself as what the puritans would have called a witch. A woman who is aware of and willing to stand steadfastly in her power. A human who values the human experience of all those around her. I understand that we are made of the same stuff as the rest of the universe and thereby have a mystical connection to everything around us. And each of us has particular wrought curves or bent nature whose arcs intersect with that magic and one another in a divine sort of way. I briefly read through a short historical account of the mathematics that inform sacred Islamic art. It filled me with inspiration as it spoke of spirals and intersecting circles and the vertices these circles created and the connecting of these intersects in order to creat geometric shapes and patterns. As I watched the sun browned hands that create, even to this day, these shapes in the ancient way and breathed in the fragrant spices that are used for celebrating, delighting, bringing pleasure and easing the passing from this life into death, I felt the holiness of the collection of each and every individual there. This isn’t to say that we aren’t all flawed it is to say that even through and because of our flaws we are holy. Perfect. Precisely who we should be.
My heart was flooded with a desire to encourage anyone I may come in contact with, and especially women who have of late been so beaten down by fearful and ironically powerful people, to retain their power and person despite the echoes of mediocrity to conform to a middle ground that makes those who are not comfortable with their own selves feel more at ease. Encouraging requires courage. How can you imbue others with that which you will not possess yourself? In the light of that full moon which would later experience an eclipse in a symbol of rebirth and recreation in the hemisphere where I was born and would soon return, courage enveloped me and inspiration danced around me like the shooting stars that raced across the night sky. Feeling an integral part of the every thing and nothing that surrounds us, I freely stand in all of the power that the 45 years of these collection of cells inventing and reinventing her largely feminine and somewhat masculine self and I write to speak to anyone who wants to that you may. Timshel.
